I often debated with my friends on the irrelevance of physical appearance. I believe its the heart that matters. A good heart intended to create good deeds with a respectful demeanor will always be more attractive than pretty eyes, silky hair and fair skin. My friends used to debate on the importance of a presentable exterior. Most of them would argue that first impressions were very important and only someone who fits the ideal beauty concept of the society will be able to sail smoothly through her life. The Plain Janes will always find it tougher to show their true worth and will have to struggle to prove themselves. And the minority of the population, the ugly looking chicks, well, God save them! I detest such views. Its not your face or your body that makes a difference its your thoughts and your belief in yourself that comes across to the other person as strikingly different and attractive. "Ugly" looking girls have been demeaned to such an extent by the society that they lose confidence in themselves. They lose touch with who they truly are and then when they meet new people this is exactly what they communicate through their body language and especially their eyes.
My aunt has a very odd looking face. She reminds me of the infamous Gnome of Christmas Eve. When she smiles it seems as though she is manipulating a notorious game and when she gets angry her red eyes get smaller and wickeder, a easy scare for little children. Her dark skin is spotted with darker spots and her Asian black hair doesn't compliment her skin texture or her face contours. Can I call her ugly? You just might.
She is the world's most pure hearted and sweet woman. Her gnome-like smile always glows with ecstasy at realising how wonderful Mother's Grace is. Her small wicked eyes are far from even the 'w' of 'wicked'. They are filled with motherly love and guidance. Her goal in life is to feed her children till the time they became fat and pink. She is not of very superior intelligence. Her innocence tickles at the smallest of the scientific invention and she thanks God for being kind enough to give man the intelligence to create wonders. She considers everyone as "Good" and salutes most of her relatives for being so knowledgeable and intelligent.
I love her. She is, in the literal sense, an angel.
But not everyone thinks of her in the same way. My aunt had a tough married life. Her mother-in-law used to physically abuse her because she thought my aunt was a disgrace to their family. She even tried killing her so that her handsome son can re-marry a beautiful fair and tall woman. Ask my aunt today of what she thinks of her saas and she says that her mother-in-law was a woman with a strong bold personality and was very strong headed and that she had a huge heart as she wouldn't let any guest go hungry or dissatisfied from her house!! Anyways, that was past. My aunt's present isn't any sweeter. Some of my relatives don't like to talk to her or don't want to be seen talking to her because she looks like an illiterate ugly old woman. I have seen how some of the women prefer smiling silently with a group of men than striking an interesting conversation with my aunt!! How silly.
Sometimes, my heart cries when I see such moments. Were my friends right? Is it truly this difficult for a not-so-good-looking woman to socially prove her true worth? Aunty is loved by her children and she is loved by the people close to her family. But when she has to talk to her husbands friends or her daughter's teachers she is looked down upon. I pity such an education system where basic values of love and respect are not transferred to the students.
What will be the inner state of life of such a woman then? Wouldn't she become the cranky oldie everyone despises? And who will be at fault then? Wouldn't she lose all confidence on herself and start believing in the world that she is inferior to everyone she meets and shouldn't express her views and opinions? Thank god for Indian society that she is still accepted by spiritually evolved people.
I want to meet my friends again. I still stick to my belief. Its the heart that matters. And those who cannot see the other person's heart are blind and not worthy of being selected as company. We should always interact with positive high-thinking people who can help us grow as living beings. I thoroughly pray for those blind people and wish they gain the understanding of the law of Life.
The truth is always ugly they say. But ugliness is only a perception.
