The Greatest Challenge

Life teaches us a lot. But no lesson is easy to learn. In the process we have to overcome so many hurdles and challenges that sometimes this learning seems almost exhausting!
I am psychologist......a healer. I aspire to provide life changing therapy sessions to my community and society at large. There have been many successful moments in my life...
And there have been times when I haven't been able to reach out to my client. But up till now...my biggest challenge has been to change my loved ones.

As a therapist, I can influence a million parents, youngsters, children and educationalists....but I seem to be taking sooooooooooo long to inculcate the correct attitude and teachings in my own parents and fiancé. All of these are very important people in my life. They inspire me, guide me, teach me and advice me. I do the same for them. I have noticed, that the three of them are rigidly staying put in the rut of their Common-Man lives.

Daishonin (Buddhism) says that our environment is a reflection of our self. If we don’t change... nothing will change around us. In order to make my parents and fiancé understand the idiosyncrasies of mortal man and escape the sufferings that arise out of life's distresses, I will have to develop myself!
My mother is a very responsible individual who believes in self care being higher than care for others. I don’t care about myself and my things. I tend to be irresponsible with my belongings and always remain in a state of perplex, hunting for my earrings, my books, important files or even a particular dress! I don’t care about my body and fill it with extra sugar and extra salt ...not to forget unnecessary meat... and let fat ooze out of embarrassing areas of my body! How can I expect her to change herself for an irresponsible girl like me?
My dad is a cultured man. His values are very strong. He believes in loving the community as if it is a part of our identity. By upholding strong value systems like respecting elders and being sensitive to the needs of the people around us, we can win respect and name in the eyes of others. I don’t respect my father. I speak out aloud my perceptions about him and mom with an aim to make them feel guilty for their faulty parenting. Every man learns with his mistakes. By continuously penalizing him for the errors you are only devaluing him. And I de-value my folks. I tell them whets wrong in them and hurt their ego. How can I expect him to change himself for a rebel like me?
My fiancé is a much disciplined man. He believes in Precaution rather than cure. He values time and routine. Honesty, sincerity, pure intentions are synonymous to his name. Every dealing in his life is done with pure intentions. His love is so unconditional that it can make any woman guilty for judging anything or anyone in life! He has the ability to concentrate on the positives of his loved ones rather than their negatives. I judge ALL his actions, all his thought processes, all his belief systems! His profession asks him to fall in love with one’s own body and develop it and nurture it lovingly. I don’t exercise, I don't wear anklets for my sprained ankles, I wear heals that trouble my spine, my hips and my feet. His day is jam-packed hardly allowing him space to breathe. He therefore values every moment of his life. I run late almost every day for almost every task. My papers are submitted in the nick of time and I love the adrenaline gush of running to catch a movie or arrive on a date with him. How can I ask him to change for a careless girl like me?

I have to be more responsible of myself and my belongings, I have to respect my parents and value the traditions of my house, I have to do time management and respect my body. Only by bringing these changes in my life will I inspire them to change their outlook of life. Only then will I be able to let them know that Life is beautiful and not as stressful as they think it is!

Midnight Winter Dream....

In the silence of the mind, a true lover romances with her ownself.
In the Silence of the world, she hears her own voice.

Her musings take her to a land far off,
travelling in time
transending space.
In her musings she scares herself of a future so horrid
and then cries to her lover for protection and cover.

In the silence of the mind,
she hears her speak,
comforting, soft voice....
an anchor in the turbulent sea...
''Why do you fear that that you do not know
What do you love? That is not yours!
Who do you admire? Him? Who is no one but You?
Love thyself and thou shalt know...
there exists nothing but Thy....''

Every night.... I dream.... of being one with You.........